Day 76 Thursday

I went to the gym for the first time in several days and had a decent workout. I'm pretty sure I do want to change it though to something more standard (Body for life) style. I'm going to finish reading Tom Veneto's BFFM and get some guidance there. the Men's fitness training isn't really feeling right to me. I'm still vacilating between 233 and 235. I'm excited about getting to 232 because that's the time when I started my accelerated weight gain 2/1/06.

Day 70 Friday

Well two breakthroughs.

1) I've stopped the daily measuring of food and going more on body feel. I order a sandwhich and a salad every day and eat 1/2 the sandwhich, three hours later, the salad, three hours later, the other sandwich. that's a good 3 meals at work.. I have a fiber filled breakfast and a nice dinner.

Breakthrough 1) - physical - I now have a '2' in my bodyfat measurement! I went from 35% in 3/19/08 to 29.9% to 5/23/08. I'm totally stoked.

Breakthrough 2) - psychological - I posted my full body shirtless front facing picture on a dating site. It's the first time I've felt comfortable doing that in over 2 years. Got some compliments too!

I also finished my auditing of all my medical records and historic weight measurements. I've learned alot.

1) I'm blown away that doctors don't keep medical records very long. Santa Cruz had it in storage though...Thanks Santa Cruz Medical Center

2) Weight watchers is a quick way to lose weight. I've had 2, 20-25 point weight loss drops but it always has come back and worse, at a higher slope than before.

3) Jenny Craig is a quick way to lose weight, but the slope of weight gain was even higher and faster than before.

4) this 5x a day eating regimen works. I believe it will continue to work over time. I'm rarely starving between meals like i was in WW.

5) My boyfriends have made me fat. Okay...that's not fair...but when i was with Will for 3 years my weight jumped from 211-236 (25 lbs). When I was with Rey it jumped from 240 to 265 (25 lbs). I was joking with Will yesterday that I no longer want to be in a relationship (fat and happy) but just happy. I can do skinny and happy.

6) I have specific historical markers.

a) at 234 today ... I'm already at the lowest point since 5/06

b) at 220 ... I'll be at the lowest point since 3/06 (lower then when I joined my job) (14 lbs from now)

c) at 219 ... I'll be at the lowest point since 6/04 when I did my first AIDS ride ALC3 (15 lbs from now)

d) at 211 ... That was my weight when I met Will (23 lbs from now)

e) at 204 ... that was my weight when I joined SVGMC (30 lbs from now)

f) at 202 ... that will be my lowest weight since 3/1/03 when I avoided taking blood pressure meds. I'll go to my doctor at that time and I will ask to be removed.(32 lbs from now)

g) at 201 .. that was my weight in 4/1/99 (33 lbs from now)


so in just 33 lbs, I will be the lowest I've weighed in 9 years...That's a very powerful visual for me.

Wednesday Day 68

bought a camera and have new pics.
weight 235 lbs. body fat creeping back up to 30.6. need to do more cardio. looking at the pics compared to the ones taken in March reveal not much change in the front, a more v shape in the back and a significant change in the side belly profile.

I think I may want to change my workout routine though and look for something that focus more on chest and arms. I'll continue reading BTFFTM and see if Tom has any good suggestions.

Wednesday Day 61

I've started to think of my weight in terms of the last time I weighed this much and what activities I was able to do with that weight.

I told my co-worker Eric who's boat I couldn't get up on skis in last year at 265 that I will NEVER fail again to get up on skis.

So today's weight 135.5 lbs with 30.3% bf puts be back at June 2006. There I did ALC 5 quite successfully. There's also something psychologically rewarding about being at a weight and a time before I met Rey that fuels my motivation. While our relationship was solid, honest, and rewarding on so many levels, it's also the time in my life when my weight shot up the highest in my life. In my next relationship, I want to innoculate against that behavior... Instead of being fat and happy, I want to be lean and happy.

at 232lbs lbs I'll be at my Yosemite weight. I asked this guy Mike that I'm beginning to date if I look like my pictures and he said I didn't look much like my Yosemite picture and I think my face was thinner.

at 230 lbs I'll be at my ALC3 weight which is an exciting milestone... On my first AIDS ride, I climbed EVERY hill, road every mile and looked pretty good.

My ex - Will is coming to town next week and he's very supportive of my weight loss. It was his comment that kicked me in the ass the last time and I'm eager to show him my results.

Monday Day 59

Okay... I'll just say it right now. Traveling Internationally is friggen hard to keep your training and nutrition up to date. I Flew from San Francisco to London and back within a week.

Results? I gained 4 lbs when i stepped on the scan Friday. (I'm certain it was 4 lbs of salt) from the airplane/airport food. The good news is it all came off by Sunday. so from 4/30 to 5/12 my weight went from 237.5 to 237 and my body fat increased .02 so i actually gained 1/3 of a pound of body fat an lost 4/5 of a pound of muscle. I am very proud of these results.

Lessons learned:

1) Pack food. Although it's not entirely clean(corn syrup) i found the Promax bars (290cal 50/30/20) to be a good way to keep the # of meals up.

2) Water water water on the plane. Stayed away from apple/cranberry cocktail which is basically red dye swimming in corn syrup. Went with OJ, Diet Soda, and water.

3) Find a gym. Yes... working out on cardio equipment that measures kilometer and kilograms is daunting so I just went with body feel and my iPod.

4) Enjoy the local food, but don't overdue it. Because I ate clean much of the time, i was able to treat myself with Fish & Chips in London one time.

5) When you get back home, get right back on your eating plan. I resumed my weekend warrior routine and got some nice yardwork in. Today - it's back in the gym.

Day 51 Sunday

What a difference 14 years makes!
I spent much of the weekend pouring through old Franklin Planner journals to see if i could track evidence of prior weights to 2005 and my records were indeed spotty. I did, however find a weight of 176lbs and 15% body fat measured 12/1/1994. At the time I was married to a woman (for 6 years), working out several days a week in a 31 year old body and quite miserable inside. My marriage was not going well. Who knew that 4 years later I would have the courage to come out. I have a graph projecting that time, various events in my life, and when i began tracking my weight loss attempts.

Day 48 Thursday

Dance 10 Looks 3...
Well it took a few days for the results of my cardio intense weekend to kick in, but it certainly has. My weight has dropped to 237 and my body fat down to 30.6%. I've been tracking on and off over the last few years my yo-yo dieting and i'm now to the point that my weight is LOWER than when I did the AIDS ride last year (7/07 my weight was around 250) and is actually lowest it's been since 3/06 (220.5 and 28.3%). From 2/1/06 to 3/13/06 I did Jenny Craig and my weight went from 232 to 220 but I spent a ton on their food and meetings. This time, I'm doing it on my own with the assistance from my shredder friends.

I'm certain that moving in with my roommate and the lifestyle we share (eating at home more) is beneficial. He's on weight watchers and that works for him.

Thanks for all your kind support.